This sucks

Jul. 3rd, 2010 11:35 pm
megajessness: (Venus Djinni Golden Sun Flint)
[personal profile] megajessness
Yah, this sucks. So tonight my now-ex-boyfriend got online to talk to me because he wasn't feeling well. He went on about how he felt he wasn't being fair to me because he hadn't told me about his health condition (high blood pressure). He essentially broke up with me, but that hardly matters in my mind right now. I don't care if he thought he didn't deserve to have someone, everyone who knows me knows I believe that isn't true. Everyone deserves somebody. What's set me off is one, his meds aren't working; two, he was showing minor signs of what could be a heart attack; three, he never gave me any indication he'd do something about it despite my worried insisting.

I don't want him to have to be hospitalized because he didn't call 911 or something. He's gone back to bed now, but I still feel like he should have gone to the emergency room at the very least. I've already prayed for him and put him in God's hands, but like clockwork I'm still worrying over him and hoping and praying even more that he'll at least make it through the night. It's not safe to sleep on something like that when your body's acting up with those kinds of symptoms it just isn't. He said he was feeling "achy", "twitchy", and his hands had apparently broken out into a sweat. At one point he typoed so badly I thought he had collapsed.

I still have a feeling he was hiding most of it from me despite telling me about his condition. I wouldn't even care as long as he took care of himself. I don't buy the "I don't wanna worry you/burden you/put undue stress on you" bit anymore. I'm getting sick and tired of my loved ones dying around me. I'd like more than one year in between deaths, thank you very much! I'm so scared for him, scared that he'll just brush it off and won't get it taken care of.

Who knows, it may be nothing, but with symptoms that sound an awful lot like a heart attack coming on, it's not smart to take chances. It makes me wonder just how long he's gone without even so much as making an appointment to change medication. He's a sweet guy, he always was, I've never disliked him in all my years knowing him as a schoolmate.
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