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[personal profile] megajessness
I never thought I'd be unable to attend the funeral of a closer family member due to distance. Now it's happened. My grandfather's last sister, Carolyn McKracken (I think that's her last name), died yesterday afternoon. My mother sent out an email last night but I didn't check it 'til today. Mommy had even sent updates before then letting people know that she was failing and they had put her in ICU. I hoped and prayed she'd beat the cancer down again, but now that her suffering's truly ended I don't feel so sad for her. I feel sad for those she left behind, especially her brothers, husband, children, and grandchildren. Her youngest grandchild, Kadija, isn't even 10 and already she's lost a grandparent.

I'm also worried about Uncle Don, Aunt Carolyn's husband. I don't know what he's going to do. He better not die with her. I'd be even more upset because I love that man too much to let him do that to himself. I hope Uncle Sam and Uncle Obie will be okay. They're the only ones left from Grandpa's siblings now. It was Robert (grandpa), Obie, Sam, Carolyn, and Alberta. Crazy Aunt Alberta died several years ago, then Grandpa last year, now Aunt Carolyn.

It doesn't feel real. It really doesn't, even though I've already shed only a few tears for the entire family left behind. I wish I could be there. Wish I could see Uncle Don and Uncle Sam again and give them a big ol' hug. Peggy and Sandy too, and Joe. Sending some comfort through Mommy is all that I can do for now.

Date: 2010-04-17 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kristalnacho.livejournal.com
dawww jess :C that sucks that she died D: -hugs you tight like crazy-

Date: 2010-04-18 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artemis3120.livejournal.com
I'm really glad that all my friends are close to their family. Sometimes I feel so distant and separated from mine, because of how I grew up. However, something happened that really blindsided me the other day. I had found out that Carol had finally died of cancer; Carol was Anne's mother, my best friend from my childhood.

I felt sad, but what made me feel truly at a loss was that by the time I found out, I'd already missed the funeral. I felt so guilty and disappointed in myself, despite the fact that none of it was my fault. The only thing I could think about was that I wasn't able to pay the respects to this woman who, for many years, was like another mother to me (very much like your own mom, Barbara).

The only thing I could do to console myself was to remember all the times I had spent with her and her daughter, and to know that *that* is what I should treasure and how I should respect her.

I think it isn't so bad that you weren't able to be there in person, as long as you always hold on to those memories that are dear to you. That's what counts, and that's what your great-aunt would want.

Date: 2010-05-15 12:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yolospat.livejournal.com
Hello, I added you to my friends list because I too an a deranged writing nerd. Sorry to hear about the recent death in the family. I wish you and your family well. Look forward to getting to know you!

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