I fail

I just ... fail. I feel like utter fail. I am full of fail, I can't even hold my head up high, can't even feel all warm and fuzzy knowing I have friends. I love them, but do they love me? Do they hate me? Do they still feel disappointed in me for things I've done?

I would like nothing more than to just curl up and disappear for a while. Shirk every single responsibility I've ever borne and let someone else take care of it because it's not like anything's getting done under my watch anyway.

I feel that disatisfied with my life at this point, no matter the amount of good things I still have and good things I have gained since moving up here. Winter's set its chill into my soul, y'all, and I'm not holding up too well at all.

It's a wonder I still have friends at this point. You're all wonderful for not leaving me, for being as patient with me as you can stand, and I still love you so much for it. I still feel like a total failure. I failed all y'all, failed myself, just ... failed.