Writings of a Deranged Nerd

I never thought I'd be unable to attend the funeral of a closer family member due to distance. Now it's happened. My grandfather's last sister, Carolyn McKracken (I think that's her last name), died yesterday afternoon. My mother sent out an email last night but I didn't check it 'til today. Mommy had even sent updates before then letting people know that she was failing and they had put her in ICU. I hoped and prayed she'd beat the cancer down again, but now that her suffering's truly ended I don't feel so sad for her. I feel sad for those she left behind, especially her brothers, husband, children, and grandchildren. Her youngest grandchild, Kadija, isn't even 10 and already she's lost a grandparent.

I'm also worried about Uncle Don, Aunt Carolyn's husband. I don't know what he's going to do. He better not die with her. I'd be even more upset because I love that man too much to let him do that to himself. I hope Uncle Sam and Uncle Obie will be okay. They're the only ones left from Grandpa's siblings now. It was Robert (grandpa), Obie, Sam, Carolyn, and Alberta. Crazy Aunt Alberta died several years ago, then Grandpa last year, now Aunt Carolyn.

It doesn't feel real. It really doesn't, even though I've already shed only a few tears for the entire family left behind. I wish I could be there. Wish I could see Uncle Don and Uncle Sam again and give them a big ol' hug. Peggy and Sandy too, and Joe. Sending some comfort through Mommy is all that I can do for now.