Too old for them?
Jan. 5th, 2011 03:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
megajessnessSometimes I wonder about my own mental age. I have a lot of online friends, and most of them are younger than me; some are even minors. Teenagers, teenagers everywhere! I don't usually think much of it, at least until the typical drama starts up. I've been there, done that, and more and more I'm starting to feel that I need to stay away from it. My teenage years were the usual: a lot of firsts, good and bad, tons of drama and hormones in between. These years are not easy for anyone by any stretch of the imagination.
It makes me wanna help them out. Y'know, smooth things over a little for them and clear up some fog if they're confused. I had a role model like that before, why shouldn't they have the same thing? I'm still young enough that I still have the patience to stand whatever they throw at me. I can only hope I have even more patience for my own kids if I ever have any. Then, this question comes up, "Was I really that bad as a teen too? ...Yeah, probably. No, I know I was. I'm so sorry, Mommy."
Honestly, age is one of the last things I ask about a person when I meet 'em. I tend to automatically treat them like my own age, maybe even older depending on maturity level. Actually, it's a little different for those who are obviously a lot older than me, but I think that's a given. Same for babies, cuz they're so young. I'd still talk to them, but not like I was their best friend; I'd talk to them as if I were their second mother XD
Anyway! Back to teenagers in my slightly-sick stupor! 8D yes, I'm finally getting sick, bleh. I had a rant in here, then I drifted and then I forgot half of it. Basically, teenaged drama is starting to get to me more than I think it should. I really need to just sit back and let bygones be bygones, but that means distancing myself personally from my friends and I don't want to risk that. I just dunno, sometimes I wonder if I'm just too damn old for them all. I have plenty other friends my age to relate to, so no worries about that.
I also wonder if they in turn feel distanced from me anyway, simply because of age. I haven't forgotten what it's like, y'all don't have to act like I "won't understand". ...I understand the problem, I just don't understand anymore why y'all don't do anything about it like I think you should. The problem with hindsight is that it's totally one-sided. No one will take advantage of the wisdom someone offers them unless they make the same stupid mistake and get told "I told you so." That's just how it seems to go. I only want to help, but sometimes I wonder if I should just leave it alone for a bit.
It makes me wanna help them out. Y'know, smooth things over a little for them and clear up some fog if they're confused. I had a role model like that before, why shouldn't they have the same thing? I'm still young enough that I still have the patience to stand whatever they throw at me. I can only hope I have even more patience for my own kids if I ever have any. Then, this question comes up, "Was I really that bad as a teen too? ...Yeah, probably. No, I know I was. I'm so sorry, Mommy."
Honestly, age is one of the last things I ask about a person when I meet 'em. I tend to automatically treat them like my own age, maybe even older depending on maturity level. Actually, it's a little different for those who are obviously a lot older than me, but I think that's a given. Same for babies, cuz they're so young. I'd still talk to them, but not like I was their best friend; I'd talk to them as if I were their second mother XD
Anyway! Back to teenagers in my slightly-sick stupor! 8D yes, I'm finally getting sick, bleh. I had a rant in here, then I drifted and then I forgot half of it. Basically, teenaged drama is starting to get to me more than I think it should. I really need to just sit back and let bygones be bygones, but that means distancing myself personally from my friends and I don't want to risk that. I just dunno, sometimes I wonder if I'm just too damn old for them all. I have plenty other friends my age to relate to, so no worries about that.
I also wonder if they in turn feel distanced from me anyway, simply because of age. I haven't forgotten what it's like, y'all don't have to act like I "won't understand". ...I understand the problem, I just don't understand anymore why y'all don't do anything about it like I think you should. The problem with hindsight is that it's totally one-sided. No one will take advantage of the wisdom someone offers them unless they make the same stupid mistake and get told "I told you so." That's just how it seems to go. I only want to help, but sometimes I wonder if I should just leave it alone for a bit.
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Date: 2011-01-06 02:20 am (UTC)Of course, when I'm talking to people younger than me, I feel older, like I've already been through a lot of what they're struggling with and learned from it, which of course I have. I sometimes have to force myself to realize that I didn't always want to acknowledge or listen to good advice. I'm so proud of Bethany, because not only has she listened to a lot of what I have to say, but she's actually learning to think in the same rational way. Go kid-sister, really!
Also, I think I find myself being disappointed by certain elderly people I meet. I know that as one gets older, one's way of thinking often becomes solidified, and you become resistant to learning new things or new ways of thinking. But really, it doesn't have to be that way! I'm frustrated and even if I don't show it, scornful of older folk who have lived far, far longer than I have, but they still haven't seemed to have graduated past a certain point in their intellectual development! I see this a lot at work where I have to explain the simplest things over and over and over again to people. UGH!
Well, not like I'm perfect. I feel that the more I learn, the less I really know. Kinda like opening up a box only to find a bigger, deeper box to explore. It's exciting, but strangely alienating.
I think if you offer your help or your words of wisdom, that's really enough. But then again, I'd say it depends on the friend/situation. :/